I really need to hire better help

I had just started prepping dinner and my phone rings, C runs to get it for me as I have ground beef hands which is great he answers the phone then hands it to me and my ground beef hands I ask him 3 times before he finally manage to let me know it's David. OK I wash my hands in the minute they converse and as I reach for the hand towel and go to grab the phone C hangs up and passes along the message from David.......
ugh these two boys do their best to drive me crazy

nothing like waiting till the last minute

yeah that's me still not finished Christmas shopping, mostly finished but there are some odds & ends oh and something for David who is impossible to buy for! We are doing out standard not buying for each other which means we really do buy gifts but just not extravagant but extravagant or not who the hell knows what to buy the man?! Generally he will buy what he wants, he is not particularly geeky with gadgets, his taste in scotch is particular, watches & cologne the same so I usually buy him some clothes which is kinda boring or I perceive that he finds that boring...sigh...anyone have any great ideas? quick ideas?

shhhhhh

oddly enough it was husband fussing at son to keep it quiet Mommy is sleeping that woke me....

ways to drive me crazy

#241 not answering texts or phone calls...
seriously my dear husband you are in a hospital bed what else do you have to do but respond to the occasional text or a phone call?

what is wrong with you two?

I wake up early not by choice necessarily I used to love sleeping late and totally miss it but my schedule being what it is I am usually awake for the day by 6 am tops. And being that early on the weekend it's my time, the boys are both still in bed so I can grab some coffee, geek on the computer and watch bad television in peace and quiet. The dog will join me but all he does is lay by my feet and snore. I will admit to being annoyed yesterday morning before I even had the coffee on and C is dragging himself into the living room so bad mommy that I am I banished him to his room to read, play legos go back to sleep whatever it was too early to deal with 20 questions. He went grudgingly but he went but as soon as I got rid of him David decides he is ready to get up for the day. I love both of them but good grief they need to know better that to infringe on my early morning quiet

cloak of invisibility

I am considering buying a special hat or sweater or shirt that while I am wearing it would indicate leave me alone, don't ask me any questions, tell me about your video games, ask me to fetch you anything, tell me about some car I have no interest in, offer to do a chore you are not quite up to just yet, I do not want a hug I do not want to hear about your day I don't want to talk about mine and sorry Oscar I do not want to pet you right this second. Sometimes I just need quiet and to be still and to have a thought every once in awhile that is just about me. I promise not to wear it often but when I am at the end of my rope watch for it.

kids & cell phones

have been very much against this idea for quite some time in spite of countless pleas from my almost 10 year old..he has no real need for one or does he???? if his goofy father would answer his cell this morning I might not be rethinking my position.

sibling rivalry

sounds so negative what about sibling one upmanship for our purposes this morning...my husband and his brother they have it except it is mostly in reverse with David who is the younger brother doing things first and JJ his older brother following. Generally speaking it is extremely innocuous usually it is about a new food, a movie or a new band and of course local restaurants. The latest would be our excursion to the Brasserie last weekend for brunch which as luck would have it had my MIL calling this morning offering to take the family over there this morning for brunch and I am guessing it is BIL who put the bug in her ear but however it shook out hell it works for me!!!!

whose feelings are you hurting?

I discovered early on in our marriage that while in the midst of a disagreement David would tend to sleep as far away from me a possible to the extent that I wondered if he might fall on the floor in the middle of the night. I will admit to taking a little bit of liberty and trying to spread myself out as much as possible to see if if would in fact fall out of bed..it never happened in spite of my efforts. Of course nowadays we have a spare room where he camps out to sulk leaving me with the queen sized bed.....a very comfy queen sized bed all to myself

you lost me at shower cap

Bless his heart David must have been watching another infomercial because lo and behold a new line of hair products arrived on my doorstep yesterday afternoon. I am perfectly content with my current hair care regime basically I buy what is on sale or what I have a coupon for and well if it is both I am sure to put in the the shopping cart, but nice gesture on hubs part I will try the new stuff. I looked at the literature they threw in the box as filler and #1 on their list of suggestions is to each night wet my hair and put in the shampoo or conditioner or whatever it is then put on a shower cap and sleep in the shower cap.....really have you lost your ever lovin' mind? I don't think so guess I will not experience the optimum effects of this stuff

yes I am irrational when I am sleepy

because I am taking David's snoring, coughing and general tendency to thwart my quest of a good night of sleep personally and I am annoyed with him...It's gonna be a day to heavily caffeinate and get over myself

the things my husband does to drive me crazy

or crazier as the case may or may not be...
He has decided to go dairy free not completely nutso I suppose however a pain since he informed me after I had planned the weekly menu and finished grocery shopping.

the snoring conundrum continues

after a rough night of sleep or rather lack of sleep one of the comments I always get from David is "why didn't you wake me or tell me to roll over"
So last night I did several times not even all the times..suffice to say he did not get up early for work as originally planned..I guess someone kept on disturbing his sleep...

happy birthday!

to my dear husband David who is the last of us to finally hit our 40s!

and he must be softening in his old age he willingly had this family photo taken and shockingly he suggested we have another taken one for Christmas.

He also proceeded to tell me we were invited to a Halloween party and did I want to go? it has me wondering has he been taken over by the pod people???

who died and made me cruise director?

our big conversation of the day was:
-didn't the coach say practice was early today?
how would I know? wasn't this the game that I had to drop our son over at your mother's house on my way to class so he would make his game time and it would allow you to work your full shift and sneak home for 10 minutes & grab a bite to eat before heading over to the rest of the game? This would have been the same day I left work early so I could pick C up and feed him something before drop off and game and before I sat through a 3 hour lecture on anatomy & physiology after a full day of work, a full day starting at 5:30 am after yet another crappy night of sleep one in a seemingly endless cycle of crappy nights of sleep
-yes
hmm...I was not at the game at all, didn't even drive by the ball field I did not see or speak to the coach and my clairvoyance seems a little off today so in my book practice is still at 3:30 unless I hear otherwise from the coach.
yes yes they managed just fine without me for 4 whole days but in the long run without me here these two would never leave the living room, would be wearing God knows what and eating canned goods & stale popcorn out of the pantry.

from the are you kidding me files

-why did you not buy mayo?
because we still have mayo
-but it's the end of the jar
yes but there is still mayo and it's fine
-but it's the end of the jar
yes I understand but I used it just Monday and did not get salmonella
-but
but nothing the expiration date is several months away and we still have mayo
-but...

irreconcilable dish washing

It makes my skin crawl to let David do the dishes really from washing to putting them up he drives me batty. First he never really rinses stuff off which I do, he then throws as much as physically possible into the machine not concerning himself with items that do not belong in the dishwasher or only belong on the top shelf or blocking where the water streams. Of course it is generally quite full because instead of emptying a clean dishwasher he will empty just a few things in order to fit in the newer dirtier dishes and then re-run the load and he would do this continually if I didn't step into to actually empty the dishwasher. Of course when he does put things away he puts them in the wrong places and never can manage to put the plastic ware with it's corresponding lid resulting in many many mismatched and completely useless plastic containers.
So if we ever divorce the decree is certain to read irreconcilable dish washing!

Mommy faux pas

C has been in an apples & peanut butter for snack sort of place lately. I have been buying him the pre-cut stuff to take to school (lazy & costly probably but who wants brown apples for snack?!) anywhoodles I grabbed some at the grocery this weekend except..shock horror gasp.. I bought High School Musical apple packages. Of course those will just not do!
this morning I get "I think I'll just stick with grapes today Mommy"
Daddy has graciously offered to take them in his lunch.

love those inane arguments

you know the ones where you husband swears up & down he has never seen a Natasha Richardson film except he has the one with Mia Farrow called Widow's Peak (which by the way he has to bloody well seen because we watched it together)and then he further claims the only Mia Farrow film he has seen was Rosemary's Baby(which may or may not be possible except I thought we had watched Hannah's Sisters together at some point)

an anniversary of sorts

David & I went on our first date 14 years ago today. We saw Page/Plant on their '95 tour. Not too shabby as far as first dates go but who woulda thunk we'd be getting ready to celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary next month?