pity party for one

I am trying very hard to be the strong one, the positive attitude, one day at a time, baby steps blah blah one so indulge me in a little whine fest this morning if you will
-David's pain issues kicked into overdrive the weekend of my birthday postponing my birthday dinner at a restaurant I love and only get to umm usually once a year for my birthday
-we postponed to the following weekend the one we spent in the ER after the first of 2 ambulance rides last week
-I have been to zero holiday parties and/or gatherings I haven't even been to a festive lunch. It sucks one of the things I enjoy about the season is seeing and spending time with folks I don't get to see on a regular basis
-Our annual New Years Eve Party will not be happening this year...see above that part about not being able to spend time with friends
-my tree is up but without ornaments. I guess I should be grateful it is a prelit tree or it might not even have lights
-family tradition of each picking out a special ornament each Christmas has not happened
-plans for Christmas dinner involved going out to eat so no one had to cook...that is not an option
-Christmas cards are sitting on the dining room table maybe I'll get them done and out on Christmas Day
-Christmas shopping...the only one getting gifts at this point is Connor everyone else in the family will have to wait
-no holiday concerts or driving around looking at Christmas lights as planned
-I have not watched any Christmas movies or specials yet luckily a few are sitting in my DVR
-our second annual ATL holiday trip to shop, eat and just spend time together did not happen
-my Christmas cheer level is at an all time low....a damn shame as this is normally my favorite holiday and time of the year
so whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch poor me
at least David is home from the hospital and improving, not as fast as I would like but improving. I will find joy and love in the fact the three of us will be together and at home on Christmas day